marriage

Reluctant Progress. The bad gym attitude returns. #TSJ

I arrived at Connect this afternoon surprised to see Janet hanging with Jess in the living room. She had turned down an offer to rest for a little while and was waiting to go upstairs to a birthday party for one of the other residents. Janet was able to tell me she had helped Jess make cabbage rolls this morning, had a shower and went to the gym. Lorne said he gave her a good arm and shoulder stretch and Jess said she helped just fine with the cooking. John came in to sing with Janet this afternoon and she said that was fun. Janet willingly went off with the Jess to the party and returned an hour later saying it was so so and not really her thing. Good she went though.

Nap time started late and ended late with Janet getting almost a couple hours of sleep before a late and short happy hour. Her speech was very good this evening as far as awareness and intelligence goes but the volume level was low most of the time. I was impressed with a lot of her comments and responses and wish she would stay at this level for longer periods of time. There are still moments of confusion that creep in quickly and leave quickly too. I want to say the trend is towards a higher level of awareness but those confused times bother me.

Garrett and I had a very challenging time with Janet in the gym after dinner. He asked for my help so he could take Fred at the same time and Janet fought tooth and nail against going. We got her on the Shuttle and she did a so so workout there for me. From that performance I can safely say she hasn’t gained a bit of leg strength since the last time I went to the gym with her which was a month ago. Garrett assured me she’s done better recently and I’ve had her standing fairly well recently too. Hopefully the hydrotherapy will allow her hamstrings to relax while we wait for the Botox then she’ll be able to get the kind of leg extension that’ll enable her to build strength. I left her with Garrett for some leg stretching and he said that went very well. He sent Janet off from the gym on her own to see if she could find her way back. Unfortunately I went down to see how they were doing and found her half way to her room. I told her I’d go hide and she could try and find me. She found her room just fine but not me. I am a good hider. Just sayin.

In good spirits and talking really well Janet went down to poker night to share more Easter treats then proceeded to eat two oranges as her bedtime snack. We read more of Slow Dance and once again looked at each other numerous times and laughed a couple times at the similar events being described. Janet didn’t argue abut going to bed as I thought she might. She was not showing any real signs of fading even at nine o’clock but she happily did her nighttime routine and was pretty sleepy by the time I said goodnight.

Our video from the Easter services at Trinity continues to get an amazing response from those that have seen it. Thanks again for all the encouraging feedback. If you’d like to watch the entire Easter message and see how Wayne used our story and that of two other amazing people you can do so here.

Praying for rest and healing tonight, energy and brightness tomorrow with a good attitude towards getting stronger.

Tan Lines. Janet basking in her glory. #TSJ

Jess said Janet had reluctantly gone to bed for a nap around 1:30 and could be sleeping when I arrived just after two. I left her alone for a bit in hopes she was but when I tried sneaking into her room at three she was looking at me with a huge grin on her face and said she had not slept and was just listening to music. She described her day as OK and said she had done “nothing”, except have breakfast but that was only toast with jam. Garrett later confirmed that Janet said no to a shower and no to the gym this morning and had a decent sleep in. That seems to be common for Monday’s so it’ll be interesting to see how she does in the pool next week.

Janet started getting up from bed and I asked her what she was doing. She told me she had to go to the bathroom so once she was up I got her over to the toilet and away she went. Another good sign of improved awareness. We then headed for the patio and happy hour. Janet devoured an orange and drank her water while I read the comments on our video that so many of you sent our way. Janet is truly encouraged by the feedback even from those of you we’ve never met. In fact some of those comments have gotten the most reaction from her. She still struggles a little with thinking she didn’t look good or do good in the video but the more feedback I read her from all of you the better she feels about it all. Thank you!

Garrett and I convinced Janet to go to the gym before dinner and she returned from a good workout an hour later with a smile on her face. She did seem a little confused at times this evening. Giving silly answers to simple questions and not knowing some basic family questions. When we Skyped with Andrew after dinner she thought he was her brother and even told Garrett that later. Andrew asked Janet about the church video and Janet couldn’t remember what he was talking about even after a pretty good explanation. I played it for her after we talked to Andrew and it all came back to her minus the crying. Yay! She never seemed to be in a state of total confusion so I’m not overly concerned but I would like to get in and see the neurologist sooner rather than later.

The first of each month is weigh in day for everyone and Janet logged another gain. She wisely said “that’s a lot” when I asked her if she thought she weighed 412 pounds. She did guess 117 pounds which is not too far off. As long as I’ve known her she has feared being too big so she always looks a little concerned when I tell her she’s gained weight but I’ve given her an arbitrary goal and we’re not there yet so all is well. As part of reporting her weight to Garrett I had Janet take some Easter candy that Kiko kindly dropped off today to share with those that were hanging around. Janet smiled the whole time she was offering the treats and seemed genuinely happy to be doing it. It’s good to share.

Before bed, Janet asked if I would read some Slow Dance to her. We certainly aren’t moving through that book very fast and it’s too bad because what we read tonight had a lot of similarities to Janet’s experience. She even shot me a few knowing glances as I read. Again, more awareness. The bedtime routine went well and because Janet didn’t nap this afternoon the lights were out a little earlier than usual. All things considered Janet had a pretty good day and even has a little tan line starting on her chest. That’s why we live here folks.

Praying for a restful night that enables lots of healing and brings energy and awareness for a productive tomorrow.

Happy Easter! An emotional day indeed. #TSJ #Heisrisen

This morning was what Easter Sunday ought to be, in my mind anyways. Bright, sunny, full of excitement with an air of celebration. I had to wake Janet up so we could start our day on time and with a big smile she told me she was ready. With Laurel’s help we had breakfast done and were all dressed ready for church ahead of schedule. I was anxious to get there knowing it would be packed and there is really only the one seat that’s best for Janet. We were first in line at the door leading to that seat and a short while later were all settled in. I had to ask Janet one more time if she was excited to be a part of the service and seeing herself on the side screens. She played it down and I wonder if we were asking her too often about that. I wanted her to be happy about it and understand the potential for touching a lot of people and I think she gets that and just wanted to not think about it. The team at Trinity did an outstanding job with this weekend’s services and Janet showed no signs of nodding off today at all. The music kept her clapping or singing throughout and when it came time for Wayne’s message she was as tuned in as I’ve ever noticed her. Our video was the last of the three to be shared during the message and as soon as it started Janet broke down. She cried throughout which made me cry and I’m still not sure why she was crying. My best guess is the release of a lot of pent up emotion over the whole thing and perhaps some worry as to how it would be received. Those were things I was certainly feeling so I can only hope she was feeling the same as that would be cool if she was able to think ahead like that. I showed her the video again at home and she watched it through without tears then when I asked her what she thought she said “it makes me want to cry”, so she did. One comment she managed this time was she felt she “did bad”. Totally not so. See for yourself here. Her feeling like that makes no sense for the first time she saw the video as she was crying before she was even on the screen. It was easy to calm her as I could remind her of the dozens of people that stopped and thanked us for sharing our story today. Most of them people we don’t know at all. One gentleman who had been at the service prior to the one we went to had tears in his eyes as he told me how our story had touched him. Janet agreed that we hope people are inspired by the video to understand how quickly life can change and to honor the commitments they have made to others.

Before Laurel and Raj set off on their drive back to Calgary we enjoyed a quick lunch in the sun with them at Red Robin.

Raj, Laurel, Janet, Larry

Raj, Laurel, Janet, Larry


That was a great way to decompress from the day so far and enjoy a last chat until the next time we see them. Laurel will be back at the beginning of May with Heather to do some wedding dress shopping and Janet is excited about that. Knowing they would see each other soon there were no tears at the parking lot goodbye. A first I believe!

A little bit in denial about the need for a nap, Janet was sleeping by 2:30 and I had to wake her at five so we could enjoy dinner together before heading back to Connect. Once the cobwebs cleared she was able to help me make a salad but I’m going to have to get her doing some bicep curls in the gym again as I sense she’s a little weaker than she ought to be. We watched and really enjoyed The Voice during dinner. Janet couldn’t pick a clear favorite contestant but Blake Shelton remains her obvious favorite coach as she laughed out loud to a few of his antics. The ride back to Connect was pleasant as I got Janet singing a little bit but I was kind of dreading leaving her there tonight. This weekend at home was a good one and I sense a little more awareness from Janet and even though her speech is still too quiet there were a number of times she came up with comments and answers that really impressed me. The only breakdowns she had were when she was simply too tired to do anything else, the video reaction exempted. She didn’t protest but I don’t think she was all that excited to go back tonight either. I reassured us both by reminding her she’s there to get better and she agreed.

Praying for rest and healing tonight and thanking the risen Christ for all we have been blessed with.

Let’s Get This Party Started! Silly Janet. #TSJ

Janet awoke with a nice smile this morning and got through the morning routine nicely, eating some fruit and yogurt by nine ish. We had all agreed to have pancakes with sausages and bacon this morning as this was our only morning with Raj and Laurel where we could take our time with breakfast. I’d forgotten how long it takes to make all that stuff and thought I could shower while Janet was eating her yogurt then whip everything up. Not quite. It was 10:15 by the time the rest of us could join Janet but it was all good and fun.

Laurel was a big help to me this morning as she went through the last of Janet’s clothes with her and filled another garbage bag for donation and created another pile of try on before deciding stuff. That’s pretty much it for purging the main floor and there’s just a little bit left downstairs which of course means the garage is a disaster area but that was the plan all along and I’m sure I can deal with that over a couple of days sometime.

It was another beautiful Spring day here so Raj, Laurel, Janet and Nash went for a walk to the beach while I did a little yard work and cleaned the inside of the car which hadn’t been done since the end of last summer. We all sat outside for a while when they got back and had a nice Skype chat with Heather. That lead into a well timed late lunch which set up nap time for Janet in preparation for going out for dinner tonight. I had to work pretty hard to get her calmed down enough to sleep which she did for forty five minutes only. Not sure what woke her that first time but the next three times in one and a half hours was Nash barking for no legitimate reason. Even Janet was upset the last couple of times.

Despite the inconsistent sleep Janet had lots of energy and was quite bright as we headed off to The Minstrel Cafe for dinner and some live music. We sat at the same table as when we were there for Jon and Lisa’s wedding a little while ago and Janet seemed quite happy the whole time. She had done really well drinking her water today so wine was allowed with dinner and apparently not enough of it for Janet as she tried to get more out of the empty carafe.

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Janet had a nice long play time with Nash when we got home and did a good job getting his treat then letting him outside by herself with only a little coaching along the way. Sleep came fast to her tonight after a pretty busy and fun day.

Praying for lots of energy tomorrow as we get to celebrate the Resurrection and through video be a part of the message at Trinity. I pray that Janet’s declaration of hope will inspire others.

Button Race. A nice family day for Janet. #TSJ

Laurel and Raj went out to Connect to pick Janet up just before lunch today. Janet told me she was surprised to see them but didn’t cry. She was showered and had been to the gym so was off to a good start. Lunch was at Joey’s where Janet enjoyed some fish tacos and was quite alert and responsive throughout the meal. Once home it was pretty much nap time and for once she didn’t need much convincing.

After a good nap Laurel and I took Janet and Nash for a sunny and warm walk around the neighborhood then settled in for some March Madness and a good sushi dinner. Janet ate a lot, I was surprised by the amount, and even enjoyed a little wine with the meal. Her water intake for the day was the barely the minimum but I didn’t have to nag her quite so much. She seems to give in easier when others are around.

Overall Janet seemed pretty quiet again today with some really good moments thrown in just to let us know she’s still doing OK. Laurel and Raj showed us some pictures of their trip to the BVI and Janet enjoyed seeing the beautiful beaches and colorful water and insists that we move there. Oh no, that was me ten years ago. Still would be nice to visit but I don’t know about doing such a long trip with Janet like that. It took Laurel and Raj 28 hours door to door from Calgary, not sure Janet could tolerate that. She faded pretty fast tonight and agreed to get ready for bed at 8:45. One of our bedtime rituals is to have a race doing up buttons on Janet’s PJ tops. I start at the bottom and she starts at the top. Whoever does up theirs up the fastest wins. Tonight, for the first time, she beat me! Praying for a restful night that brings lots of energy for an active and fun day tomorrow.

Wet but not Wild. Janet’s 2nd dip in the pool. #TSJ

Jess had Janet pretty much set to go when I arrived at Connect this morning. Like Garrett, she is very good with Janet and I think they get along pretty well. Janet got a little upset about being put on the toilet before we left but that’s the rule, try and go before you go.

On the drive to KGH Janet was reasonably talkative but a little on the quiet side and seemed concerned about something. She said she was fine but she just seemed a little off to me. Thanks to Jess’s foresight we were at the pool with lots of time to spare. This session was not as good as the first one as Janet just didn’t seem to have the energy she’s capable of having. I found it hard to get her positioned well enough to float on her own as she kept listing to the right pretty severely. With that in mind I tried some standing exercises with her first and that went really well especially with the left leg. Eventually Janet warmed up and loosened up enough to make her own way one length of the pool floating on her back. Definitely not in Olympic record time but a first is a first. That was the highlight for sure and we’ll just have to keep working on the other stuff. The good news is Janet was approved to use the pool twice a week now. Mondays and Thursdays starting April 8th. The Monday session is at 10am so I’ll just keep Janet home Sunday nights now, go to the pool then be at Connect by lunchtime. Although her performance wasn’t as strong today she still had fun and that’s something we can build from. We had a nice chat with Moira and Rob on the way in and Janet got a nice hug from Rehab nurse Jason on the way out. Made her smile big.

We did a little grocery shop on the way home and it was nice to have Janet in the store with me and have her be able to help and she likes to contribute. At home and after lunch she protested quite vigorously about having a nap but I’m bigger than her so I won and she slept loudly for an hour and a half and said she felt good afterwards. She certainly has no shortage of an appetite as she polished off the dinner that was waiting for her at Connect even after eating a big lunch. Bob and Fred joined us for an evening of March Madness before Janet finally tired out just before nine.

Today was a good day but noticeably quieter than the last few. Janet’s speech was good as far as the words spoken but her volume level was low all day. Hopefully a good night of rest will recharge her for the weekend. Laurel and Raj are here and will pick Janet up tomorrow and take her out for lunch before bringing her home for the weekend. Janet is really looking forward to that.

Praying for lots of rest, healing and recharging for a fun weekend.

Music to My Ears. More singing for Janet. #TSJ

Today, Janet, Mary Lou and I met with a music therapist, Stephanie. I’ve long been searching for an accredited MTA that could work with Janet and thanks to Brian and friends we found a possibility. The timing as far as Janet goes could not be better as she seems to have fully rebounded from her Dilantin overdose and is offering much more in the way of starting conversations and expressing her opinions. Stephanie outlined how she would work with Janet and although similar to what John does she has a more clinical approach and will aim for the same goals Mary Lou has for Janet. Namely, increasing the volume of Janet’s voice and improving her ability to find and use appropriate words. The meeting went well and Janet seemed to like Stephanie so dependent on what exactly she proposes I think we’ll give it a go. Janet will still do the sing along stuff with John as every little bit helps and Janet has fun with him.

I convinced Janet to have a nap after the meeting and she did so for over an hour and a half giving her good energy for the rest of the day. She had a good Skype chat with Leslie and is excited about the possibility of her and Gavin coming out for a visit at the end of June. In fact she could hardly stop talking about it every time she was asked a question about her family which seemed to happen a lot today. I grilled her after she woke up from her nap then Garrett and Connie started in on her after her nighttime gym session.Janet is much more confident in her answers now and needs less prompting to get them correct.

We sat outside for happy hour again and Janet was very chatty and maybe even a little restless as she kept working her left leg to move her chair back and forth. Once she moved ahead while drinking her water, hit the patio railing and spilled a bunch of water all over herself. She thought that was very funny and it was. Connie was in the house this evening after her trip to England. We had a nice chat with her about her trip and Janet was really glad to have her back and enjoyed hearing about her trip.

It took a lot of convincing to get Janet to go to the gym with Garrett tonight but eventually she relented and of course came back all smiles and somewhat accepting that it was good for her. Garrett is very good with Janet and we are blessed to have him working with her. He reported that Janet did well with her stretches tonight even getting onto her tummy herself and staying there for three minutes or so with no discomfort. Previously it was a huge struggle to get her onto her tummy and she always seemed in a little pain while she was there. This is a nice improvement that Janet credits to “doing it lots of times”. High five!

To help her wind down and enjoy the rest of the evening I got her a cup of tea and we watched some Ellen on YouTube. Janet laughed out loud at a couple of the clips and was genuinely touched by one of the sappy ones we watched. That’s the most reaction I’ve gotten from her watching YouTube and speaks to her continued rise in brightness.

This was another encouraging day with Janet. She was strong on all her transfers today, she talked well 90% of the time I was with her, participated well in the meeting with Stephanie and Mary Lou excitedly reported that “Janet is back and then some” in regards to her speech therapy. It had been a tough few weeks for Mary Lou when Janet was going through the Dilantin overdose so it was nice to see her all fired up again today.

Praying for a night of deep rest and healing that brings lots of energy for tomorrow.

How Could You Not Smile? A sunny day for Janet. #TSJ

When I arrived at Connect this afternoon Jess reported that Janet was having a good day. It started with a shower, included a trip to the gym with Tez and also had more of the ongoing water battle. Janet was apparently in her room listening to music so I carefully opened the door in case she was sleeping but there she was with a huge smile on her face saying “I knew it was you”. Apparently I’m the only one that opens the door that way so she knew it was me. She may have napped a little prior to my arrival and was very bright and chatty. More so than I’ve experienced in a few weeks. Her voice was clear and fairly loud and she was talking in plain and proper English. It was very refreshing and encouraging. We talked about her day so far and mine with her interjecting some well thought out comments. When given the choice of getting up or napping a little more she chose napping which lasted about a half hour when I got a wrong number call on my phone that woke her up. It turned out to be a good time to get up as Cam called shortly after that and after concluding business with me he had a nice chat with his mom who mumbled a few times but mostly spoke very well and again said some really intelligent things. She seemed really happy to be talking to Cam and smiled the whole time as did I.

The sun was shining brightly as Janet and I sat out on the patio for a pre-dinner drink and appetizer. A very juicy grapefruit and the requisite water of course. We stayed out there for a good forty five minutes with Janet continuing to talk really well and clearly enjoying the sun on her face. That was one of many blessings received today and makes me a little anxious for summer and being able to take Janet for walks to the beach etc. I think the sun was making her a little tired after that time and she chose to go in and read from the iPad for a bit. As long as I could make the words large enough she did quite well. Improving the more we did. Janet ate a good dinner then agreed to try some herbal tea in place of her after dinner water. She enjoyed it but could only manage half of what she needed to drink and made up the difference with water. We did a little more reading then watched some YouTube that made her laugh a few times. I then read some of Slow Dance to her stopping after a very sad chapter about the ladies dog dying. To cheer her up I read the children’s story that she had written years ago about a witch that didn’t want to be a witch. She accused me of reading it wrong, implying that I got the story wrong but I’m not sure how I could. I’ll take that as another sign of some more memory coming back. Earlier in the evening I saw more of old Janet as she leaned over and whispered to me that us guys had been talking too long about soccer. Gary was working with Bob tonight and he is originally from England so naturally we talked soccer. Janet thought we were crazy.

By the time the bedtime prayers came around Janet had lost all the energy she had when I arrived and agreed it had been a good day and smiled as I recounted the positive things that had occurred. On my way out the door she volunteered a wave goodbye which is something I usually initiate. I really hope there is no step back from where she was cognitively today it was very refreshing.

Praying for a night of rest and healing and more steps forward tomorrow.