marriage

Janet, A Success Story. October 12. #TSJ

Janet was not at all thankful for going back to Connect tonight. She was the most upset about it that she’s been in a long time but once there and settled in all was as good as could be and we’ll pray for a productive week.

The weekend was enjoyable for Janet, not a lot of crazy activities but enough action to keep things interesting. Friday night, eleven of us from our wine club attended a dinner put on by the culinary students at Okanagan College. We live close enough that we were able to walk there with some of our neighbours and it was warm enough that Janet only needed a light sweater. Of the five courses presented, Janet liked the salad served first the best. Surprise! The wines were not as adventurous as I was hoping for and they proved a little too much for Janet but I’m always willing to help her out. Saturday, Courtney joined us at church and was surprised at how well and how far Janet is walking. Today, Courtney spent the afternoon with us on an unofficial Thanksgiving Day visit. She gave Janet a much needed manicure and having her around made coping with the Seahawks loss much easier.

There was lots of practicing the laundry machines and cooktop this weekend for Janet and she’s getting better at both. Passing her laundry test just seems to be a matter of getting enough repetitions in. As far as walking goes, there’s no noticeable decline in the fear level but left on her own Janet seems happy to make her way around wherever she wants to go. She just needs to do it at Janet speed.

Praying that Janet has an enjoyable week and that she stays focused on the positives.

Janet, A Success Story. October 9. #TSJ #doctorday

Thursdays are always interesting for Janet, mostly because its the start of her weekend at home. Today she also got to see three doctors before getting home. Jess took her to the clinic right after breakfast this morning to get meds for another UTI. They had to wait quite a while to see the doctor there but Janet said he was nice and she enjoyed chatting with Jess while they waited as there usually isn’t time to sit and talk at Connect.

The next doctor on the list was Dr. Miller at KGH. Since Janet might be attending a Speech Therapy program there after she comes home, we took the opportunity to see how familiar Janet is with the place and if she’s confident enough to make her own way around. I pulled up to the Rehab entrance and followed Janet inside. Erica, the head nurse saw us and came to chat as we were walking in. Janet doesn’t remember her but appreciated her encouraging words. Once inside Janet got a little confused and needed a prompt to head in the right direction. Rob, the physio guy saw her but wasn’t sure it was really Janet. He went ahead of us to Dr. Miller to make sure and was excited that Janet is doing so well. Dr. Miller was his usual upbeat self, although dressed down today. Janet seems to thrive off of his praise and although I was hoping for some detailed strategies to cope with her fear and self doubt, his reassurance to Janet and encouragement to keep doing what she’s been doing resonated with her and may be enough of a boost to push her through these last few weeks at Connect. Janet walked herself freestyle to the Rehab bathroom after the meeting then used her cane and lead me to the outside door where she waited in the sun for me to get the car. While I was gone she had a nice chat with an older lady who was out getting some sun. Awesome to be able to leave Janet do things like that and hope it grows her sense of independence.

Yes, I said weeks for coming home. Hard to believe but there is a very real possibility of Janet being home by the end of November which is only seven weeks away. She is aware of this and is willing to work hard for it. The last doctor of the day was Janet’s GP for a regular check up and to set things up for the lab near our house should Janet need to use it once home. Finally at home, Janet called her own nap time then stood for a long time at the cooktop helping me make dinner. Her stamina for that is growing and she really does appreciate the meals more when she helps out.

Praying for a healing night of sleep and a sunny Friday.

Janet, A Success Story. October 8. #TSJ

As soon as Janet’s exercises were done this morning we met with Brian, Mary Lou and Jess to review Janet’s get out of Connect goals. There are only a few remaining, read to the pre school kids, operate the laundry machines, walk 200* meters in six minutes. There is an asterisk beside the 200 meters as Tez has not confirmed that as the number, in fact there is an asterisk beside all of Janet’s goals as even the ones she’s achieved don’t indicate mastery of any particular task. Everything is a work in progress and the target for Janet is to get a good baseline of abilities while at Connect. She’s well on her way to being home by the end of November.

Since SheLife was tonight, I took Janet home after the meeting. We made a stop at the grocery store on the way and Janet helped choose what to buy. She then helped make her lunch and did a great job helping with dinner after her nap. It was nice to be home for the afternoon and we realized that Janet now spends more time at home than she does at Connect. Hearing that, pleased Janet and I hope she can use that the next time she feels crummy about being there.

In trying to promote Janet’s independence I had her walk freestyle across the room to her table at SheLife tonight. She was nervous of course but did it just fine, in fact she didn’t use one piece of furniture for support along the way. Janet said she was able to contribute to the conversation and was all smiles when I picked her up. I’m really pleased she can be part of such a great group of ladies.

SheLife "groupie"

SheLife “groupie”


Praying for a good night of sleep and for a confident Janet tomorrow.

Janet, A Success Story. October 7. #TSJ

Seemingly a bit grumpy, I took Janet out for a nice long walk in the sunshine this afternoon. She didn’t believe me it was warm outside so she refused one last chance at wearing shorts. The sun did her a lot of good though and set her up well for the rest of the evening.

The morning consisted of an intense workout with Curtis that lasted into the usual lunch hour so by the time Janet called me it was after two and she was just heading for a nap. That may have been part of the reason for the grumpiness. Full of sunshine nearing dinner time Janet actually suggested she do her laundry and willingly walked to the laundry room where I coached her through most of the steps. Chelsea was working on her own tonight so while she was busy after dinner I asked Janet to help me clean up the kitchen. After some initial resistance she jumped in and did a good job. There was no Games Night tonight as no one was there to run it. Janet, of course didn’t mind. That time was filled nicely with the kitchen clean up and putting away laundry, things that Janet will do and not realize she’s doing therapy. Her walking tonight was less confident than usual but having to carry things to put them away and turn in tight spaces was really good practice for her and she did well.

Tired after all those chores Janet and I sat with Wes and Chelsea and watched a little of a baseball playoff game. That just made Janet more tired so she got herself ready for bed early. She used to complain when asked to undress and put her pjs on and it is difficult for her but she hasn’t argued with me for a while and is getting better and better at it. Its fun to watch her figure out ways to put things on. The wheels are turning and she’s getting good results.

Praying for a restful sleep and a fun Wednesday.

Janet, A Success Story. October 6. #TSJ

All day long Janet’s focus was on getting things done so she could watch the Seahawks play on Monday Night Football. Tez has a new student working with him whose worked with Janet on her stretching a couple of times now. She says he’s nice but isn’t totally sure of what he’s doing. Janet is more than willing to tolerate that as long as she doesn’t have to work too hard. Things seem to be getting done though, including some walking. After her nap I took Janet for a walk up the stairs and on the six minute course. There was a lot of complaining that ended with some acceptance of a good result. With me pulling her along, Janet did 200 meters in just under seven minutes. That’s the fastest yet but was with help and on an inside course. Still, it may boost her confidence a little.

After setting the table and grating a bunch of cheese Janet sat down for an enjoyable Skype chat with Andrew. Janet had a fair bit to say once she warmed up and really enjoyed getting caught up on Andrew news. Dinner was in the living room so we could watch the game and that of course made up the rest of the evening. Love having a football fan for a wife.

Praying for a restful night of sleep and lots of confidence for tomorrow’s activities.

Janet, A Success Story. October 5. #TSJ

We are now another weekend closer to Janet coming home full time. There were not a lot of direct attempts at reaching the three goals she has left to achieve but Janet participated in many activities that helped her. Each day there was lots of walking, both freestyle and with me pulling her along. The cane was not used once all weekend and the wheelchair was used only for some long outside walks we took. Each day saw Janet do a 200 meter walk with today’s effort clocking her best time by thirty seconds. I’ve been pulling her along on these to try and get as close to the speed she needs to go but we’re still taking just over eight minutes to complete the route. Janet is still too scared to go any faster. Inside, Janet is showing signs of being less scared. She loves to cling onto whatever she can reach but hesitates much less now when approaching an open area and she has to let go of something. The confidence and stamina are building in the kitchen as Janet stood and helped there a lot this weekend. She’s also learning to get herself into better position before attempting a task. Previously she would start doing something the second she could reach it instead of getting herself strong and stable. Janet practiced her reading every day and continues to read faster and with more expression.

Friday night was the re start of our Small Group and we had a really interesting discussion with our three guests and Janet participated well and is looking forward to keeping this going on a regular basis. During our walk on Saturday we ran into a few of our neighbours along the way and had some interesting chats with them. Janet is getting to know more people around here and is liking them too. One of her KGH Rehab Pool partners was at Trinity Saturday night and spent some time reminiscing with Janet but she doesn’t remember much from those days. Tonight we enjoyed a yummy dinner and good conversation with Randy and Claudette, and Henrik and Sandi whom we haven’t connected with for a long time. Janet agreed it was a fun and interesting evening. All in all it was a fairly social weekend.

There were many positives for Janet this weekend, encouragement from others, recognizing improvement in herself and socially functioning at her highest level since this all started. Janet will still have long moments of silence where I wonder if she’s tuned in or not then she’ll contribute in a way that shows very clearly she’s been paying close attention and processing well too. Fun and encouraging to see.

Praying for a good night of sleep and an energetic and confident Monday.

Janet, A Success Story. October 2. #TSJ

When I got to Connect this morning Janet was walking around her room putting laundry away. She had a big smile on her face and couldn’t wait to tell me she had done her walking test with Tez. I surmised by her look that it went well but had to wait for Jess to find out the official result as Janet tried telling me she did 190 meters. That would be nice and I believe will happen one day but today’s official result of 92 meters is outstanding and Janet accepted the praise she was given by everyone we saw today. I think I’m just as happy about that as I am the numbers. Tez will ponder Janet’s performance for a bit then recommend a new Get Out Of Connect Goal which I anticipate will be 200 meters.

Nothing pleases Janet more than leaving Connect and she gave her signature fist pump as we drove away for the coast to visit Brittney, Ethan, Julian and Ashley. Janet was more than happy to spend four hours in the car and travelled really well today. Her wheelchair and cane were in the car but not used except for the wheelchair once when the walk was just a little too far. We left Connect at 11:45 and got home at 1am and Janet never slept a wink the whole time. The visit with everyone went well with Janet and I really noticing how much busier everywhere is in Vancouver compared to here. We had some great sushi for dinner but the restaurant was crazy busy and loud. We got to watch Ethan at his swimming lessons and the pool was crazy busy and loud. Our last stop was Menchie’s and it was very smily as usual, except for Ethan when we wanted to take this picture.

He was happy before this, honest.

He was happy before this, honest.

Praying for a good night of sleep and a productive Friday.

Janet, A Success Story. October 1. #TSJ

A happy Janet called me this morning wondering when I was coming out to see her. Not sure why she was so happy as it had been a routine morning for her with the exception of no Speech with Mary Lou. Janet usually likes those sessions so it wasn’t like missing a workout with Tez. She wasn’t pleased that I would be a while as Cam and I were busy cleaning out his car and doing laundry. Janet fully understands what thats like though and so do some of you.

Janet was sitting on the edge of her bed when I got to her room, ready to get up from her nap. She had partially dressed herself and is getting better at that week by week despite complaining that its too hard. Still in a good mood she agreed to practice her six minute walk test before leaving for dinner and SheLife. The course that Tez had laid out in the upstairs hallway had been partly destroyed so I had to guess where the thirty meter turning point was before starting Janet on her way. I followed close behind her the whole way and in six minutes Janet unofficially traveled ninety five meters. Or ninety or eighty five, somewhere in that ballpark. A significant improvement over the last time and much better than I expected. Janet was going for it the whole time and was pleased with the result herself. Now she just has to give that same effort tomorrow with Tez and every other time she’s walking.

To kick off another season of SheLife Janet and I stopped for Chinese Food before going to the church. This was the first wheelchair free visit to the Asian Pear and Janet did a great job serving herself at the buffet and cleaned her plate with very little spillage. Quite a difference from the first time we went there. The welcome for Janet at SheLife was warm as expected and she was really touched by how caring the ladies there are to her. Tonight was more of a get to know each other night rather than study time so Janet was able to talk a lot about her summer activities and more. She had a good time and is glad to be back.

There was one more chance to see Cam before he heads to North Vancouver tomorrow and that just happened to include some frozen yogurt. We tried a place called Goji’s which is right close to the church and we all found it to be quite yummy.

Praying for Janet to have an overflow of confidence in her ability to do anything she puts her mind to.

Janet, A Success Story. September 30. #TSJ

Disappointingly, today’s appointment with Dr. Miller was postponed until next Thursday. Apparently there’s someone out there more important than Janet? That meant Janet could do her full workout this morning which she was actually ok about. Jess showed me a trick she’s been using to get Janet to walk faster. She puts her hands on both sides of Janet’s hips and gently pushes and without any resistance Janet speeds up dramatically. I’m not that good at it yet and Janet will only tolerate it for so long but I feel its better than me dragging her along.

Tez and I had a chat and agree that fear is Janet’s biggest obstacle right now and no one has any new tools to offer. He will assess her six minute walking test on Thursday then set a new walking goal for Janet to reach before leaving Connect. 400 meters just isn’t realistic in the time remaining. Janet is aware of all this and seems relieved there will be an easier goal set. Maybe that will lessen the fear?

After a couple of days delay, Cam made an appearance today and I brought Janet home this afternoon so we could have dinner with him. This was a cane and wheelchair free trip for Janet and she managed just fine. She was a big help prepping dinner again enjoyed the energy Cam brings to the house. There was a little complaining about going back to Connect tonight but that was tempered by knowing she gets dinner out and SheLife tomorrow then a quick trip to the coast and home for the weekend starting Thursday. Praying for a good sleep and an energetic Wednesday.

Janet, A Success Story. September 29. #TSJ Goaal #3!

It’s a rare occasion when Janet recounts her morning activities without a complaint so I really enjoyed her phone call early this afternoon where she told me all about the stuff she had done with the only negative being her review of her step exercises as being “terrible”. She seemed pleased with everyone else and sounded quite upbeat. When I got out to Connect a little later Janet was awake in bed after napping briefly, something she hasn’t really been doing much of lately.

Janet’s attitude shift enabled her to take the initiative and walk down to the kitchen to find out what her duties for the evening were. As Chelsea had her help with making stuffed baked potatoes I showed Brian the video from Janet’s attempt at boiling water on the cooktop at home. He approved and when Janet arrived on the scene congratulated her on achieving another goal! Janet seemed genuinely pleased with that news and wasn’t too upset about not passing the laundry test yet. She needs a little more practice in familiarizing herself with the controls on both washer and drier. She’s close.

For her post dinner stroll tonight I pulled Janet around the insides of Connect including up the stairs. Janet handled those well but was feigning exhaustion part way up in such a way that I think she’s mentally giving up at the first sign of exertion. In the end she completed the routine well and maybe realizes a little better just how long of a stride she is able to take.

Praying for a night of restful sleep and a productive meeting with Dr. Miller tomorrow.