hope

Janet, A Success Story. August 20. #TSJ Stubborn

Happily Janet’s cold seems to be going away. She sounded much better today and had lots more energy. Enough energy to put up a ton of resistance towards helping Chelsea make a cake and for doing any form of exercise tonight even though all she had done during the day was the bike.

When Janet called me this afternoon she excitedly told me how she had just read The Hallo-Wiener to Garrett and Curtis. She was quite happy she was able to do it and admitted she was nervous about reading to an audience. Mary Lou had encouraged her to try as it would be good practice for reading at a pre school. That was the good Janet. Things had shifted dramatically by the time I got to Connect and the majority of our evening was spent “discussing” the many reasons why Janet is at Connect and what her responsibilities are while she’s there. I was disappointed with her seeming lack of desire to help out around there and the false expectation that she should be waited on all the time. Those are very un Janet like characteristics and this was the second day in a row I’ve noticed them. It’s good that Janet is able to assert her feelings and wants but I don’t think its acceptable combined with a complete disconnect for other’s feelings and wants. We reached a resolution when Janet admitted she didn’t want to help with the cake because she feels she won’t be able to help or do enough based on having use of only one arm. When reminded of the good help she’s provided while baking at home she felt better about her situation but in the end only watched Chelsea and cheered her on a little. As far as the exercise goes, Janet finally agreed to do the stairs after realizing that going home on weekends is a privilege that is earned by doing the required work during her days at Connect.

Through it all there was still time for sitting in the sun and going for a nice stroll to watch some soccer before the bedtime reading session which lasted a short twenty minutes tonight as I don’t like reading out loud to myself and a snoring Janet.

Praying for another good night of healing sleep and for Janet to have a positive Thursday.

PS. Janet and I will be on CBC Radio this Friday afternoon just after 5pm PDT. The programme is called Radio West and is broadcast throughout the BC Interior. Thanks to technology, those of you not in our area can stream it live here , if you miss it, I hope to post a recording on this blog over the weekend.

Janet, A Success Story. August 17. #TSJ PB&L?

Since Janet complained that her “vacation” last week wasn’t relaxing enough for her I made sure that relaxing was the focus this weekend. It was good timing as Janet is still battling the little cold that Ethan left behind. Friday was probably the busiest day we had as we went out and ran a few errands after breakfast. First stop was shopping for a case for Janet’s iPhone so she can clip it to her pants. Since she rarely uses her wheelchair now she has no where to keep her phone. The first stop was successful and Janet had a good walk from the car into the store and an even longer one to a bathroom as we left. Its really nice to be able to take her out and not be in a huge hurry so she can walk everywhere that’s reasonable. Our next stop required the wheelchair as the store is just too big for Janet to do the whole thing. After that it was back to walking, this time on an uneven gravel surface which made for a good challenge that Janet didn’t enjoy but conquered none the less.

The rest of Friday, and the weekend for that matter, were very relaxed with lots of walking in the house, helping with meal prep and walks outside including a good one today about two hundred meters round trip. Janet finds it more difficult walking outside but is slowly gaining confidence and stamina. The sunny warm weather sure helps. I notice that with everything about Janet, especially her right arm now that the Botox has completely worn off. When she’s nice and warm her arm is very relaxed and flexible but if she’s the slightest bit cold the whole thing stiffens right up. Still hoping for that prescription to live in Hawaii or similar.

We got a very pleasant surprise on Friday when the host of CBC Radio’s afternoon show contacted us to see if we’d be willing to share our story on the air. She found the blog a few days ago and thinks our story will “touch” her audience. Janet and I agreed to go on the show and will be on live just after 5pm this Friday for about ten minutes. I’ll give you more details on how you can listen closer to the day.

With one goal out of the way I’ve been trying to get Janet to zero in on another. The reading is coming along and she showed little resistance to practicing this weekend and the improvement by today was noticeable as far as the speed with which she got through the book. Loading and unloading the dishwasher is going well but we haven’t started to learn how to start the thing yet. Same with the laundry, Janet can load and unload but hasn’t had enough practice pushing the buttons. Helping with meals is something Janet is more and more willing to do and I think operating the cooktop can be ticked off fairly quickly, we just need some cooler weather to inspire us to use it more. Today Janet shocked me with her lunch choice of a peanut butter and lettuce sandwich. She loved it, must be an Ontario thing.

PB & L? As long as she's happy.

PB & L? As long as she’s happy.


Praying for a good night of sleep for Janet that heals her cold and gives her lots of energy for a productive Monday..

Janet, A Success Story. August 12. #TSJ Goaaal!

A very matter of fact Janet called me this afternoon to tell me she had “done the steps with Tez and he said it was fine.” Translation, Janet has officially achieved her first “get out of Connect” goal! I can’t explain her lack of enthusiasm and satisfaction, maybe she realizes its just the first of eight goals she set for herself. That would be her thinking only, as everyone around her has been praising the accomplishment.

Tez worked with Janet for quite a while this morning and will do so each Tuesday and Thursday for the foreseeable future. They will be working on improving Janet’s stride and walking speed. Janet admitted she was pretty tired from the Tez work and needed a rest so I was surprised to find her in the living room when I got to Connect. She really could have used more of a rest as she was a little grumpy most of the evening but agreed to demonstrate her stair climbing for you on her way to Games Night. This was her first attempt at all nineteen steps as she chose to go up them all instead of going up then down ten. Janet is a little scared of the down part still so I let her choose tonight.


Its difficult to say what the next goal to be achieved will be but some progress was made on the reading one tonight. Janet emailed the preschool she used to work at to see if she would be allowed to read to the kids near Halloween time. The response came within an hour and her former boss is all for it. We hope to meet to chat about it soon.

Praying for a long night of sleep that provided lots of energy for a fun Wednesday.

Janet, A Success Story. August 11. #TSJ Overachieving

Attitude is everything and Janet had a good one today. As I drove Brittney and Ethan back to New Westminster Janet called me to say she had just done her stair climbing with Curtis and that she went up and down TEN steps! She seemed genuinely pleased with herself and she should be, her goal was three steps set only a couple of weeks ago and already she’s at ten. High five! After the call, Brittney said Janet sounded good on the phone and she’s right. I didn’t really notice it at first but there was a much more confident tone and lots of volume to her voice and she carried the conversation well.

It wasn’t until six o’clock that I made it out to Connect and Janet was sitting out on the patio waiting for me with a big smile and a fist pump. Fortunately for me, her dinner hadn’t been served yet so we had time to visit before dining together. Janet’s confidence level stayed high all evening which enabled her to engage in good conversation with the other residents as well as the staff. She dictated some emails and discussed in depth our weekend as grandparents. It almost seems like she’s reached another level and it will be interesting to see if the trend continues.

Thank you to those of you that prayed for our friend Gary. He made it through the surgery and will be in ICU “a bit longer than usual” so keep praying please.

Praying that Janet gets a good night of sleep and is able to officially check off her stair climbing goal tomorrow.

Janet, A Success Story. August 10. #TSJ No Relaxing Here

Return trips to Connect have often been difficult and unhappy for Janet and tonight’s was near the top of the list in unhappiness. There was no crying or pouting or complaining just a clear stating of the fact that Janet feels like her “vacation, was not very relaxing”. She’s right and that was never the intention. I think it all boils down to nine days going by too quickly and a little bit of Janet forgetting some of the things she did. We had a good talk about it all and I was able to leave her smiling and seemingly content. She has a chance to officially achieve one of her goals this week and I think she’s looking forward to doing that.

The final phase of Janet’s “vacation” started Thursday as we said so long to my mom and hello to Brittney and Ethan.

Not too sure is he?

Not too sure is he?


We had no idea what to expect from this adventure and were impressed at how well Ethan travelled from New Westminster to Kelowna. Janet did too but that is becoming old news. Overall, our weekend went well and by the end of the day today Janet found a way to connect with Ethan a little more. You could probably guess it was through reading and teaching but even Janet was surprised when she realized she was using an App with Ethan that I used with her during her first year at Connect. Its a word association game that Janet now knows and Ethan is improving on.
EthanJanetHallowiener
Teacher at work.

Teacher at work.


The rest of the weekend Janet was pretty much the innocent bystander, she didn’t want to swim when we went to the pool but enjoyed watching Ethan and noted his improvement after day two. We spent a fair bit of time at various beaches and Janet enjoyed watching the goings on there, I just wish she could participate more.

With a two year old and a dog in the house our at home routine became a little chaotic at times so Janet got waited on more than usual and there was no protesting from her on that one. She still did well getting her breakfasts, it was lunch and dinner that lacked involvement. Her walking was great and even Janet commented she’s getting better at coming up the steps from the garage.

All in all it was a positive weekend and a productive if not relaxing time away from Connect for Janet. Praying for a restful night of sleep and an energetic Monday for Janet.

PS. Tomorrow, (Monday), our friend Gary goes in for open heart surgery which is scheduled for 1:45pm. Please keep him, Barb and the medical team in your prayers.

Janet, A Success Story. August 4. #TSJ Swimming Video

It’s been a fun and active start to Janet’s mid summer break from Connect. Laurel and Raj were here Friday night till Monday morning and provided Janet with some meaningful and exciting family time. We all walked around the Farmer’s Market Saturday morning then stopped by to say hi to John. Janet is always quite proud to introduce her family to others and John was very pleased to have a larger audience to regale with his stories. It took a little convincing but we got Janet into the pool and you can see from this video, she hasn’t lost any strokes at all.


We arrived early to church on Saturday as I wanted Janet to walk all the way in on her own. Wouldn’t you figure, she walked so fast the whole way we had tons of time to spare. Ya just never know. Sunday was a day at the beach, literally. Janet was happy to sit in the sun and watch Laurel, Raj and I make our first attempts at Stand Up Paddle Boarding. We all did impressively well I must say. After a nap at home we walked back to the beach area for a nice dinner at Smack Dab followed by the now requisite stop at Menchies for dessert.
Summer Yummies

Summer Yummies


The good-byes this morning were not as teary as in the past and Janet and I had a productive day preparing for our trip to Nanaimo tomorrow. I even got Janet in the pool again and we are getting steadily better at entering and exiting.

These first few days have been quite vacation like for Janet with today being an exception as I put her to work with me around the house. Since she is using her wheelchair less and less we rearranged the kitchen so that the things she needs for breakfast are reachable for her when standing. She did some walk throughs of the new set up today with the first real attempt coming in the morning. I’m confidant she can do this.

Praying for a great night of sleep and a safe drive and ferry trip to Nanaimo.

Post dinner selfie

Post dinner selfie

Stand Up Paddle Boarding sure is fun to watch.

Stand Up Paddle Boarding sure is fun to watch.

See what I mean.

See what I mean.

Almost looks like he knows what he's doing.

Almost looks like he knows what he’s doing.

Janet, A Success Story. July 31. #TSJ Out in Style

The last day of July. Wow. Janet still thinks she has a long time at Connect and even knowing tomorrow is August she doesn’t really sense how quickly the time is passing. Maybe its not for her. Today went quickly though, while most of the other house mates were kayaking and swimming Janet was in the gym with Jess and complaining a lot, right to the point where Jess left her for a few minutes to get a grip on herself. When Janet called me and told me about this we had a good talk about how Janet needs to focus on her goals, try and achieve them as soon as she can then come home. She really seemed to get it but tonight when I asked her to do some stairs with me she started in the same way she had earlier with Jess. In the end she relented and walked to the stairwell.

Janet was confident she could do three steps up and down without assistance and very assertively told me to “back off” while she did them. The three steps up were way better than the other day and she got herself over to the other side of the stairwell easily. With me working hard at staying back, Janet descended three steps in style and unofficially, in my opinion, has now accomplished that goal. To make it official she needs to show Tez and that won’t happen until the week after next at the earliest as Janet gets a summer break starting tomorrow.

Janet usually comes home with me Thursdays for the weekend and was surprisingly cooperative about not doing so today. Laurel and Raj arrive tomorrow night for a few days then Janet and I are traveling to Nanaimo to visit my mom before bringing Brittney and Ethan back to Kelowna for a few days visit with us. Therefore, I wanted Janet to get her exercises done Friday morning before starting her nine nights away. Fair deal I think.

Chelsea gave Janet a few tasks in helping get dinner ready and Janet did them well and without protest. She was quite chatty with her housemates today, especially Wes, with whom she’s had a few “good conversations” the last couple of days. Good to see her stepping out more and more to start a conversation and even better that she remembers what was talked about a couple days later.

After the struggle of getting Janet to try the stairs and to reward her success I let her choose the activities the rest of the evening. She wanted to be out in the sun so we walked to Beasley Park and watched soccer for almost an hour. I remember doing that with Janet last summer and not being sure what she was seeing or understanding and now she’s telling me legitimate reasons why she’s cheering for one team over the other and making random but interesting observations like, “there isn’t a cloud in the sky”. Nothing to do with soccer but valid and it was pretty cool to look around the entire valley and not see any clouds.

More and more I am leaving Janet to get around on her own and she did really well with that tonight. I even heard her getting her meds from Chelsea and identifying them with only one hint. Praying for a solid night of sleep for Janet, a positive attitude and willingness to work hard Friday morning and for a fun nine days away.

In light of the visiting and traveling we will be doing, blog posts will be random and only as events warrant until sometime around August 11.

Janet, A Success Story. July 29. #TSJ Shot on Goal

To Janet, lately, her days seem to be pretty routine and uninteresting. In the past I’ve mentioned the perceived slowness of her progress. That seems to have flipped recently as I can see improvements almost daily and Janet is having a tough time recognizing them. The first part of today was routine for Janet with the exemption of having to walk everywhere. That appears to be paying off as her first trip down the hall with me was faster than any of her walks yesterday. It then took every bit of convincing I had in me to get her to leave the sunshine and try some stairs before dinner. I insisted because I think this is the goal Janet can accomplish before all others and pretty quick. Her goal is to be able to walk up and down three steps using only a hand rail for assistance. After the long walk down the hall Janet approached the stairwell with trepidation, then, as soon as she saw the nice wide steps and the handrail she easily climbed the first two and with an extra effort made it up the third one. I then helped her turn and walk across to the other side so she could grab that handrail and try going back down. Janet admitted she’s scared about going down so I stood right in front of her and had a hand lightly on her back for reassurance. She made it but needs to overcome that fear before marking that goal as achieved. Today was a great first shot on goal!

After her morning workout Janet said she practiced her hand writing for about an hour. She’s not happy with her abilities in that area but again, I’m seeing notable improvements. Tonight was Games Night and Janet was her usual enthusiastic self. Actually she’s gotten more accepting of the event and does quite well for the first forty minutes or so then tires. To give you an idea of what Janet’s longest walk at Connect is I recorded this time lapse video of her walking back from Games Night to her room. It’s too fast to see any improvement in her technique but you can sure see how much more distance she can cover. In real time this took five and a half minutes.


Praying for a great sleep and for Janet to be confident doing all she is asked to do tomorrow.

Janet, A Success Story. July 28. #TSJ

Today marked the beginning of Janet’s ramped up effort to achieve her move out goals. Other than the first transfer out of bed in the morning and a long walk with me tonight, the wheelchair stayed parked. One long term resident, Chris, commented to us this afternoon how impressed he was that Janet was walking everywhere with her cane. Chris has long been a cheerleader for Janet and she still values his opinion so his comments did her some good today.

By the time I got to Connect this afternoon Janet was waiting for me in the living room. She said she couldn’t nap and wasn’t sure why she was inside in the cold so we immediately went out to the patio where she recounted her day for me. Janet’s recall continues to improve to the point now where I no longer feel a need to verify her stories. The time soon came for Janet to set the dinner table and she needed no physical help at all but seemed to have difficulty in figuring out how many places to set and what to put with each one. I’ll blame the lack of a nap.

Our evening was pretty mellow as we took advantage of the hot weather and went for a nice long walk around the neighbourhood. Janet is so much more observant and conversant than when we did that last summer it blows my mind. There is one house we pass on this walk that has dozens of cats roaming the yard. Last year I’d have to spend five minutes guiding Janet to a point of seeing one of the seven or eight that were clearly visible at anytime. Now, she can even spot the ones hiding in the shade of the carport, which they all seemed to be doing tonight.

Janet realizes her walking pace needs to increase and I noticed a slight improvement tonight but more importantly it was obvious Janet was trying. She wouldn’t try and read The Hallo-Wiener to me though so I read to her and she laughed like a little kid at the end. Love it when she gets excited about silly things. Emails are still a chore for Janet but when she puts her mind to it she can churn them out pretty fast now using the voice to text feature and thats what she did for a few tonight, feeling a sense of accomplishment when done. Janet deserved to feel accomplished tonight as she had a good day.

Praying for a good long sleep tonight and an energetic and progressive Tuesday.

Janet, A Success Story. July 27. #TSJ

Another summer weekend comes to a close and it was a good one. Not a lot of activity as far as going out or having people over, just quality time together in the sun. Janet said the highlight for her was the salmon dinner we had tonight. It was yummy but I think the highlight for me was taking Janet out to see John today and having her lead the conversation after we stopped at a store and Janet walked with her cane the whole time there. It felt like she was more independent to me and I hope she’s feeling the same way. Janet is at least very willing to use the cane now and realizes it will help her become a faster walker and her memory has improved to the point where one tiny prompt from me can set her story telling for a couple of minutes.

Speed wasn’t really present all weekend as Janet is still nervous about walking. Her stair climbing improved each day and this is the least she’s used her wheelchair by far. It is still very much needed for walks to Menchie’s and such but not around the house at all. Janet cane walked into church but I had to lead her the last bit as she was going so slow we risked not being seated before the service started. We had lots of time as we left the building and Janet made that trip completely on her own. Slowly but she made it.

I pretty much dragged Janet to the pool today for a swim and she whined and complained until she got used to the water then I could hardly convince her to leave. Getting in and out was a little better today as she went with no AFO or shoes. The in part still needs work but getting out has been mastered.

Janet practiced her reading a fair bit this weekend and says she’s getting better and from what I heard I’d agree. There was even a little practicing of her handwriting which was nice to see, its getting better too.

The weekend ended up having lots of ways of suggesting to Janet that the goals she set last week are very achievable and I pray she has the attitude and ability to work hard at them all this week.