Month: February 2013

Purging #TSJ

I got the sense that Janet had a bit of a restless night last night as she seemed to be tossing and turning quite a bit. Not that she can toss and turn very well but I did notice her moving a fair bit and on a good night she barely moves once. When she opened her eyes she was ready to go though and wasted no time in getting up. The only plan for the day was to go to church for eleven so when Janet was dressed by nine I thought we had tons of time and offered her pancakes for breakfast. She of course jumped on that idea and when all was said and done we were in the car at 10:40 and in jeopardy of not getting the only seat in the house that allows Janet a good view of the stage even when people are standing. Thankfully we got that seat and enjoyed the message by Tony Campolo who had some intriguing things to say. Janet had a tough time staying awake despite Tony’s solid message, further testament to my theory of a restless night.

Back at home and after lunch Janet was eager to help me purge some of the kitchen cupboards. Really I think she would have done anything to avoid nap time. I didn’t pressure her on that as I really wanted her help with this project as there was a lot she could do that would be good therapy. We made it around the kitchen cupboard by cupboard and drawer by drawer with Janet spreading things out on the counter and table so we could see it all and make the decision whether to toss, donate, sell or keep. We filled a garbage bag of junk and have a lot to dispose of in other ways.

Two huge benefits came from our purging efforts. One was finding a box of straws. Janet failed the straw drinking test a while back so I was curious to see if she could do it now in hopes that it might get more liquids into her more rapidly. I gave her a straw in her glass of Fresca and she caught on right away and seemed to think it was fun enough to keep drinking that way the rest of the day, expect for her glass of wine later, that would be a no no. The other cool thing we found was a rocker knife. As soon as I saw it I remembered Janet using it from time to time but had totally forgotten about it. I think Mary/Gaga and Keith gave it to us when the cruised to Alaska or it could have been my mom after a similar trip?

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After our weekly Skype chat with Leslie I had Janet use it to chop some peppers and broccoli for dinner and she did very well with it. High five!

The late night last night, restless sleep and napless day today caught up with Janet as she started fading during dinner. By the time we got to Connect she was beyond tired and getting a little confused. She argued with me about going to bed so early, 8:30, who I was, Elfie, just some guy, not her husband and there is no way we’ve been married ten years. I’m convinced this all came from being over tired, not the little bit of wine or Dilatin side effects and by the time I turned the lights out she was smiling that peaceful about to sleep smile.

Praying for lots of rest tonight that brings more healing and prepares Janet for all her activities tomorrow. Thanking Jesus for the great weekend together.

Retirement #TSJ

After a sound sleep overnight Janet awoke with a big smile on her face, you know, the kind babies get when they’ve done something you now have to deal with. It had been a while for Janet so although not the nicest way to start the day it was a good thing, and we still managed to be ready in time for a visit from Hayley. She is a first year nursing student at UBCO and a family friend who needed a subject family for a school project. We had a nice chat about this whole experience and the impact it has had. Brought back some interesting memories, most importantly, realizing again just how many terrific people have been caring for and supporting Janet, and me, from day one. We are blessed. Hayley’s mom blessed us again with some amazing cookies. Janet wasn’t able to have any of the previous batches from Anne Marie so she really enjoyed the treat this afternoon.

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Before we knew it the morning was gone and it was time to prepare a late lunch. I ended up doing most of it as Janet was fading a little. That led to a short nap time before getting our dinner made early so we could go to the basketball game this evening. Pizzas were the plan as all we’d have to do when we got home was throw them in the oven. Janet did a great job of setting out ingredients, building hers and cleaning up afterwards. The whole process took way less time than I thought so we went for a walk in the sunshine before going to the game. Janet “drove” Nash while I drove her and she controlled him really well. It was nice to get some fresh air and sunshine.

When we got to UBCO for the game Janet admitted she wasn’t really feeling that into it. That changed quickly as the Heat were playing well and leading for most of the contest. I noticed her spending a lot of time watching the mascot as well. At least she was being entertained. She complained about the noise level towards the end of the game but it was a very exciting finish with the Heat winning in the final seconds and it was nice to witness some school spirit in that gym. It was especially nice having it happen at the last game for three senior players. We enjoyed watching them play over the last five years and although we don’t know them their retirement tonight brought back a lot of good basketball memories for us with Janet very confidently stating she remembers being at Laurel’s final game.

I’m really glad we made our pizzas ahead of time as it was still after eight when we started eating and that’s too late for Janet. She ate everything including ice cream for dessert and we watched the NBA All Star Saturday Night show while eating. Janet was nodding off in her chair right after the ice cream so I fast forwarded to see who won the Slam Dunk Contest and put her to bed.

Today seemed to fly by pretty quick. I guess that’s good. Praying for a good night of rest and healing and a joyful day tomorrow.

Helpful #TSJ

I took my time before going out to pick up Janet today knowing she’d be home all weekend. After doing some minor chores around the house I went for my first bike ride of the year. It was a beautiful sunny day and warm enough for shorts. Barely.

Janet was waiting patiently in the living room for me and after a final check of the wound care protocol we took off for home. We got there a little too late for a walk as the sun still sets a little too early so Janet played with Nash for a bit while I got things set for dinner. My plan for this weekend is to have Janet help out around the house as much as possible and tonight was a good start. She set the table for us and with no coaching got it all right except for missing forks and putting the knives and spoons on the wrong side. She pulled salad ingredients out of the fridge for us and I taught her how to tear the lettuce with one hand. She caught on really fast and after I chopped the peppers and tomatoes she added the croutons and tossed it all up. High five! Putting things back where they came from was a little challenging for her and she needed quite a bit of coaching on that. She also needed some help when it came to eating as well tonight. We had penne with meatballs thinking that would be easier to eat than spaghetti. But she struggled with the concept of stabbing with her fork, she always wants to scoop.

Friday night is turning into movie night for us and while scrolling through titles we came across The Kids Are Alright. I asked Janet if she remembered seeing it before and she said no but as I contained scrolling she said “there it is”. That was the one title she could read on the screen so we watched it “again”. Janet did not remember any of it but enjoyed it “again” and was able to give me a reasonable summary afterwards. Of course we paused about half way through for dessert. Vanilla frozen yogurt with butterscotch sauce is Janet’s new favorite.

The bedtime routine is a little longer now with having to change the dressing on her former peg site. It looks like its healing well to me. Janet fell asleep quickly and is looking forward to a fun day tomorrow. Praying for rest and healing tonight and recovery and learning tomorrow.

Tubeless #TSJ

Just finishing her morning routine as I arrived Janet was all smiles but her eyes showed a little apprehension as well. There was no time to spare as we headed for her doctor’s office and the much anticipated peg tube removal. Janet held it together quite nicely right up until her name was called. She calmed down as soon as we got into the room and was totally fine when her doctor came in. I wasn’t though as despite a conversation with Janet’s GI I could tell her doctor had no idea of what she was about to do. Before leaving Connect, Jess had applied a topical anisthetic around the peg site and the doctor was pleased with that work. I asked if she’d spoken to the GI and she said yes and that he repeated, “just pull it out”. And so it began. What should have taken thirty seconds took more than thirty minutes including a call to the GI for further instructions which came back as “pull harder”. Janet was very calm and patient during all of this but when the tube finally came out she burst into tears. Can’t blame her as the suddenness with which the thing loudly popped out surprised us all. In the end it was a good learning experience for us all and even if the doctor had done it a hundred times before there was no other way to do it than pull harder. Now the healing process begins with the hole apparently sealing over within a matter of hours and the wound needing care for a little over a week maybe.

This is me flushing her tube for the last time.

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Before the doctor left I made sure to ask two questions. One was about Janet traveling. Can she? If not, what has to happen before she can? The doctor’s answer was as long as Janet is strong enough to last the time it takes to go somewhere, do it. She recommended some short drives before attempting a flight anywhere and said there is nothing stopping Janet from going anywhere other than her stamina. I think I feel a sushi run to the coast coming on. My other question was about alcohol. I received a shocking yes to this one as well. No harm in having a glass of wine with dinner once in a while. Janet was smiling big as her doctor said this. Never thought I’d get that response ever. Yay!

Janet was absolutely fine within minutes of the extrication and we were on our way home for lunch. She had a well deserved relaxing time before we went house hunting this afternoon. We were visiting a new condo building that I was quite hopeful for but the floor plans are just too tight for someone in a wheelchair. Since we were in the area and needed a nice white wine for dinner we stopped at Discover Wines and thanks to Kris, a former CedarCreeker, we went home with a nice Desert Hills Viognier.

It was kind of late but I tricked Janet into a rest time anyways and as she was laying down she said “I’m pooped” and slept for well over an hour. She would have slept more if she hadn’t been woken up by the dog barking because some other dog was barking. She still loves him though.

Dinner was made even nicer by being able to enjoy the Viognier. It was a nice pairing with our Basa Thermidor.

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Desert was a scrumptious heart shaped macaron for two from Sandrine French Pastry and Chocolate. Thanks Sandrine! The only down side to the day was it was too short. Back at Connect Bob changed the dressing on Janet’s former peg site and coached me on how to look after it this weekend. Janet was happy the day was over and is looking forward to a more relaxing weekend.

Praying for a restful night and a strong day of rehab tomorrow. Thanking Jesus for the progress Janet has made and for all the people that have helped get her here.

Butterflies #TSJ

Janet was waiting for me in the living room having just watched a soccer game on TV. She said it was a good game but couldn’t tell me who played. Lorne gave me the run down of her day so far and it was good. Janet had a good workout in the gym this morning with Lorne and Jess including some kneeling which she said hurt a little but was good. Mary Lou visited Janet for some Speech and was impressed with Janet’s increased vocal volume. Mary Lou has a program on her lap top that allows her to record the decibel level of Janet’s voice so she got a good baseline today and can now monitor Janet’s progress more accurately.

Today was the day for a little blood work to be done to ensure the levels of Dilatin are where they should be so I loaded Janet into the car and drove down to the lab. Prior to being stabbed Janet started to cry but stopped when she realized it was over, which was like ten seconds later. She thought she was having her peg tube removed then. She is quite nervous about that which should make for an interesting morning tomorrow. I offered her a stop at Starbucks on the way back to Connect but she declined. Turned down the pub too. She did accept an invite for a rest period and had a good one for over an hour.

Janet awoke refreshed and ready to help prepare dinner. Garrett had everyone helping to make chicken fajitas and Janet’s job was chopping onions. A regular knife proved too hard for her but she did well with a rocker knife and only needed some light guidance from me. Everyone got to build their own fajita once everything was ready and Janet loved that part almost as much as she enjoyed eating it. Garrett mentioned that he will discuss the dinner program at tomorrow’s coaches meeting. I think he’s got a good thing going here. We found out it was Garrett’s birthday today so after dinner I had Janet deliver him a happy face lollipop and that earned her a nice thank you hug.

In the spirit of Valentines Day I changed up Janet’s nail polish to a nice bright red. Not sure what she thinks of all this but she humors me anyways.

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Suzanne dropped by just as I was finishing Janet’s nails and stayed for a nice visit. I was impressed by some of Janet’s responses to Suzanne’s questions especially on Heather’s wedding plans, what each kid is doing now and who is visiting next. She remembered that Mike has threatened to visit this month but forgot he’s her brother and thought he was the “third youngest”. Youngest what we never did figure out. Still good signs of more short term memory coming back.

Janet did well at getting ready for bed and was tired but also worked up a little about the peg tube removal tomorrow. I asked Bob to check on her a couple times before he leaves at eleven just to make sure she is settled. Praying for a fun and productive day tomorrow.

Two Sleeps #TSJ

Janet met me in the hallway as she returned from a reading session in the Den. She was quite smiley and chatty saying she was having a good day. She mentioned going to the gym and having lunch and reading and while she tried hard to say what she had for lunch, just couldn’t get it out. Lorne reminded her it was grilled cheese and she smiled big when she heard that. Sensing she needed a bit of a break after reading I lead her to the living room to watch some TV before Brian’s scheduled session at three.

It was good to chat with Brian this afternoon so we could all get up to speed with each other. He reads this Blog daily so is well aware of what Janet has been up to and that enabled us to talk about bigger picture items such as the wheelchair, food and transfers. I requested a few tweaks to the chair before we purchase it and Brian is confident those will be done without problem. He had read about the beef stew incident and I was able to tell him about Garrett’s meal plan that is in writing somewhere and he said he’d find it and follow up on its implementation. He encouraged a discussion with Tez over which form of transfer Janet should be focusing on now. I’ve been using mostly a standing transfer where Tez would prefer using the sliding board probably feeling it’s too early for Janet to do the standing thing and he’s probably right. I paid close attention to our transfers today and although Janet is stepping with her left leg without cueing now I notice she is not really holding her body that straight, I’m doing most of that, and her right leg is taking virtually no weight at all. I’ll use the sliding board between her bed and wheelchair and other chairs and will stand her for toilet transfers.

Time for a bio break after Brian’s visit. Success again! I then had Janet put her laundry away which she seemed quite pleased to do and was happy when she completed that task. I need to find more chores like that for her to do as she is now not at all interested in the board games. The last couple of days she has demonstrated some real assertiveness and I can sense her wanting to do more constructive things. After a brief rest time she started getting up from bed and got a little mad at me for being in her way. I now realize that reaction came from a “I can do this myself” perspective and she did. I backed right off and said nothing and she got herself all the way to sitting and was quite pleased.

We headed down to see what was happening in the kitchen where Garrett was preparing a nice salmon dinner. Janet asked if she could help with anything but most of it was done by that time so we watched a little more TV until dinner was served. Janet really enjoyed the meal and was too full for dessert. We hung out in the living room for a little while after and I threw some family geography questions at her. She did pretty well, correctly answering where she was born, where Andrew lives and where we met. We had a heated argument over where her mom and Keith live with her finally relenting when she remembered we visited them in Collingwood a couple of summers ago.

I have been counting down until Thursday when Janet gets her peg tube removed and think I am more excited about it than she is. Only two sleeps to go! Originally I figured that was because I deal with it way more than she does but tonight it came to the surface that she’s afraid it will hurt when it comes out. I explained as much of the procedure as I know to her and then changed the subject to focus on the more fun things we are doing that day and she calmed down then. The time I’m spending with Janet is split pretty evenly now between moments of heightened awareness and real insightfullness and moments where she just isn’t processing things effectively. We had another talk on the importance of the afternoon rest time this evening as she lost her energy before 7:30 tonight where as when she has that rest she can go strong until 8:30. I got a little bit of a “so what” from her but I think deep down she knows the rest makes a difference. Before bed I read to her a Christmas letter she started writing a couple of years ago that I found while purging some cupboards today. Janet’s writing has always been very difficult to read and this was no different and we both had a good laugh trying to decipher what she had scribbled. Janet says she remembers writing that letter and I believe her as she wrote some things there that are true Janet things to say and I could see the recognition on her face before she even said anything. Cool.

Praying for rest tonight and an active day of learning and recovery tomorrow.

Easing Back In #TSJ

Monday, a day to get back into the “normal” routine. Janet apparently was too tired to jump back into her routine so took it pretty easy today with just a short workout in the gym and a little bit of reading for Speech. The rest of her time before I arrived was spent hanging out in the kitchen and living room mostly just watching what was going on. She was pleased to see me when I got there and seemed upset that she hadn’t done much but when she was reminded of what she was offered and attempted she agreed she was kinda tired. That led to a more than an hour long sleep with some of the loudest snoring I’ve ever heard from her.

I was prepared to let her sleep until 4:30 but she woke up just after four and wanted “to do something”. She managed to get herself up from laying down on the bed and elected to go and see if she could help prep dinner in the kitchen. She flat out refused my offer of playing games or reading. Just not into “school” today at all. It’s a good thing we went to the kitchen when we did as the guys had made another beef stew but there was plenty of time to prepare something else for Janet. Bob made her a nice chicken and pasta dish while we laughed at the movie Happy Gilmore. Janet wasn’t too thrilled by the pasta dish and was kind of jealous of the leftover enchilada I had brought for me. I continue to struggle with this dinner thing. I want her to participate in the Connect dinners and she really wants me to eat with her. If I bring my own dinner then she’s going to want that instead of what Connect has made, evidenced tonight. If I bring her dinner all the time then she’s somewhat disconnected from Connect. I think I’ll stick to eating when I get home for now.

After dinner we got a Skype call into Andrew and I was pleasantly surprised at how well Janet spoke to him. She had been pretty quiet and gurgley before that but turned it on nicely for Andrew. We listened to some music after that as I tried to find some she could sing along to. She was all over a couple of Brian McKnight songs and very readily agreed with me that she likes muscley black guys that can sing. I’m OK with that as I tan pretty good in the summer so I just need to work on the singing part and I’ll be fine.

Lights out at 8:30 for a tired but content Janet. The chat with Andrew and the singing before bed really seemed to brighten her spirits and I think set her up for a good nights rest. Praying for an active day of learning tomorrow.

Stupendous Sunday #TSJ

Sensing she was hungry, Janet woke up at 7:30 this morning and asked for pancakes for breakfast. After the getting up routine was complete I found my recipe and Heather made us some nice fluffy pancakes which Janet devoured with a compliment of chocolate chips scattered on them. Because she was up so early she had plenty of time to enjoy her breakfast and coffee this sunny Sunday morning.

We left for church in plenty of time and sat across the aisle from a former KGH Rehab patient who is now living at his home and waiting to go back as an outpatient. Nice to see him and the progress he’s made.

I had arranged with our realtor to look at three houses this afternoon so we could see if they fit our needs at all and the first appointment was for one o’clock which meant lunch on the run. A couple slices of pizza and a can of pop from the church and off we went. The first place was a total no go which gave us plenty of time to picnic in the car with the sunroof open as we drove to the next place. That one was better but not by much. Third time lucky maybe? Not quite, but there is potential for this type of place. It was in a gated community designed for adults only, 45+. Janet and I have never liked the idea of age restricted complexes but the style of homes there may be what we have to go for. They are built with some accessibility issues in mind and the one we saw would work fine with just some minor improvements. We didn’t like its location or the fact it has a basement as we would never use that. Other than that, in the right location and for the right price I think we would have to seriously consider that type of home but for now the search continues. We invited our realtor to have a look at our house so he can give us an idea of what it might sell for and after touring him around for a bit we decided to enjoy more sunshine and go for a little walk around the neighborhood. This was the first day we’ve been able to do this since early November with Janet and it felt good to be out getting some natural vitamin D. Janet had been going hard since 7:30 and was clearly fading after our walk so Heather and I managed to convince her to have a rest after our walk. She was sleeping three minutes after hitting the pillow and knowing the Grammys were about to start woke up forty five minutes later. I had just snuck out of the room to start dinner five minutes prior and when I went back and found her awake she was actually a little mad that I wasn’t there when she woke up.

The Grammys show is pretty good entertainment for Janet. There were no sing along songs but enough good music to hold her attention and enough of a fashion show in between songs to keep her interested as well. It was a very enjoyable and relaxing evening that ended too early for Heather and I but a little too late for Janet. It was approaching ten o’clock by the time I turned her lights off at Connect and she was very tired.

Today was a good day for Janet. She ate well, talked well, enjoyed some sunshine and was busy all day long but always at a nice pace. Heather’s visit was way too short but I’m glad she got to hang out with her mom to see first hand how much she’s improved. Janet enjoyed talking wedding with Heather and looks forward to going dress shopping during her next visit.

Praying for a restful night that brings lots more healing and an active day of learning tomorrow.

Satisfying Saturday #TSJ

There is nothing better than watching Janet wake up in the morning, or the middle of the night, and see her big smile and sparkly eyes looking at me. She woke up once last night, shot me the smile, then didn’t wake up until after nine this morning, still with a smile. The morning routine went well and we were able to greet Heather by 9:30. Janet communicated well all morning as she and Heather talked wedding plans in between mouthfuls of breakfast. Janet’s answers to questions are more often correct now and I find she is asking more questions now too. Another sign of her short term memory improving came when Heather asked her what she thought of Beyonce’s performance at the Super Bowl. Janet very thoughtfully explained she liked the show but thought Beyonce could have focused more on singing as opposed to dancing. Her answer really impressed me.

We didn’t have a lot planned for today so in order to help me de clutter the house, Heather and Janet did some purging of Heather’s old room. Not that a move is imminent but it was nice to take advantage of some quiet time to sort through stuff I wouldn’t have a clue of what to do with. Courtney even stopped by, with a swollen face from having her wisdom teeth out, to grab some of her stuff I found this morning. Amazing what can hide in a house.

After watching a little tv and arguing that she didn’t need a rest, Janet slept for half an hour before Skypeing Leslie. That conversation went well, not as good as the last two Skype calls, but it wasn’t Leslie’s birthday so I guess the extra effort wasn’t there.

Janet and I had agreed to take Heather out for dinner tonight a couple days ago and made a reservation at one of our favorite little places, The Fixx Cafe. Unfortunately they are a favorite of a lot of other people and could only take us at five. Janet does need to eat early but it felt really strange going somewhere nice that early. Stranger yet was Heather grabbing the cheque afterwards. Kids these days! The food was fabulous and it was fun having Janet there again even if she didn’t remember it. To add to the enjoyment and since we haven’t broken any rules for a while, I figured it was time to rebel a little. You can’t eat good food like that with just water so I ordered a glass of Pinot Noir. Janet’s eyes lit up as our server poured it and a few minutes later I grabbed the glass and moved it to the other side of my plate in anticipation of offering Janet a sip. She was already waiting, fork down, smile on her face. I hadn’t even said anything. Needless to say she enjoyed the three sips and one gulp I allowed her over the duration of the meal and I feel blessed that she has reached a point where she can truly enjoy something like that. I realize there may be some potential for harm but I don’t think so from that little bit and I know when I ask her about it tomorrow I’ll get a huge smile from her. Worth it.

Since Janet enjoyed watching Zoolander last night we decided to try a movie again tonight. A number of people had recommended The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel as a good Janet movie so on it went. Heather and I both enjoyed it and Janet did too but struggled with staying awake. She was very full from dinner, so much so she turned down ice cream, and maybe had a hard time keeping up with the dialogue. It was still fun and she made it through and has been snoring beside me for the last forty five minutes.

It was a satisfying day in many ways. Janet continues to impress with her communication skills and overall awareness level and we got to go out with Heather for some very tasty food. Praying for a restful and healing night and a great day tomorrow.

Fabulous Friday #TSJ

Janet was surprised to see me this afternoon, she didn’t realize it was almost three o’clock. She’d had a busy day so far and had just started chilling in the living room. Lorne said he had taken her to the gym after breakfast and did a good stretching routine with her. He also got her on the Shuttle and Janet did really well including ten reps with four bands of tension. I made sure to remind her that’s proof she’s getting stronger. Janet had a speech session with Mary Lou’s practicum student then asked to go to the bathroom. Success and progress!

She thought “it would be a good idea” to go to the bathroom before we left for home and it was. She’s really catching on to this. After a sing along drive, our weekend at home started with the usual play time with Nash then we started making our pizzas for dinner. Janet did a great job decorating hers, I only had to push a few things back from the edge and it was good to go. In a very un Janet like move she chose chips over fresh vegetables to accompany the pizzas. Yes! And in another rare move she ate one and a quarter pizzas! We had made an extra one in case Heather is starving when she gets in late tonight and Janet surprised me by asking for more after finishing hers. We are still trying to gain a little weight so it’s all good.

I figured it was time to see if Janet can handle watching an entire movie so I gave her a choice of four familiar titles and she chose the always hilarious Zoolander. We started it during dinner and with one bio break part way though Janet watched the whole thing. There were no out loud laughs but lots of smiles and giggles. She really enjoyed it.

It’s awesome to have her home and she is quite happy to be here and looking forward to seeing Heather in the morning. Her conversation skills continue to get stronger as does her ability to do things herself around the house. Praying for a restful night and a fun day tomorrow.